khar_muur: (khar_muur07)
You have no power over what other people talk about you.

You can't trust anyone. Everyone lies. (Is a lie really a lie if the misinformation stems from bad memory or inadequate information, therefore lacking intention to deceive?) And you might be better than you think at telling if a person is lying.

You have to let go of full control to be strong.

Everything can be misinterpreted, misunderstood, and misremembered.

To survive, nearly everything is permitted, but there are no absolutes. There are no thought crimes, but repetitive thoughts have a tendency to actualize. Obsessive thoughts show on your face.

Fear, in small, consistent does, can be useful when you're trying to find the truth.
khar_muur: (khar_muur07)
Location: our new flat, which is still more like a camp than something you actually live in, but we'll get it done soon, I'm sure. More packing today at the old one, Thursday's the ultimate cleaning day of doom, and on Friday morning we hop-skip to the tenants' office and return our keys.

Due to moving, I'm horribly behind schedule with pretty much all my work, but once I get my work space organised here, I'll get back to business. Major stress, a tad anxious. Can't work like that.

Listening to: old concert recordings, mostly by Queen, getting a wee bit emotional on occasion. I tend to hate live recordings, but when it's on video and the band's no more, it's somehow completely different.

It's also my birthday today (which I'm sure anyone who reads this already knows, but what the hell) and, incidentally, also Fiore's. Little furball is turning one. Awwwwww. It's almost as big as Seitso now, although that's mostly because Seitso is too skinny. They're safe at my parents' while we're moving boxes around, and apparently S has been eating a bit better; it felt slightly fatter last night when I felt its sides. Hooray!

House hunting continues. I already found the perfect one, but it just so happens that I don't have an extra 500k sitting on my bank account right now, so... the search goes on. Our financial situation looks particularly grim at the moment, and isn't getting any better since my primary's going to study part-time this autumn. I fully endorse it, of course, and obviously it's more important than money. Just means we have to plan stuff more carefully.

We'll see how the next quarter goes.
khar_muur: (bombay cat)
Distorted Thinking Patterns (Cognitive Distortions)

1. All-Or-Nothing Thinking – You see things in black-and-white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.

2. Overgeneralization – You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.

3. Mental Filter – You pick out a single negative defeat and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that colors the entire beaker of water.

4. Disqualifying the positive – You dismiss positive experiences by insisting they “don’t count” for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.

5. Jumping to conclusions – You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion.

    A. Mind reading. You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and you don’t bother to check this out.
    B. The fortune teller error. You anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is an already-established fact.

6. Magnification (Catastrophizing) or Minimization – You exaggerate the importance of things (such as your goof-up or someone else’s achievement), or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desirable qualities or the other fellow’s imperfections). This is also called the “binocular trick.”

7. Emotional Reasoning – You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: “I feel it, therefore it must be true.

8. Should Statements – You try to motivate yourself with shoulds and shouldn’ts, as if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. “Musts” and “oughts” are also offenders. The emotional consequence is guilt. When you direct should statements toward others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.

9. Labeling and Mislabeling – This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself: “I’m a loser.” When someone else’s behavior rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to him: “He’s a goddam louse.” Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded.

10. Personalization – You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which in fact you were not primarily responsible for.



From sourcesofinsight.com

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A Journey in the Dark

March 2016

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